Parenting fails
I'm slowly starting to unravel because of my schedule and think I might hire someone to come clean my house
I have yet to fold and put laundry away from stuff I washed 2 weeks ago.
I don't remember the last time I vacuumed the carpet.
I washed B's bedding, but it's still in the hamper by his bed rather than on it.
I finally washed dishes that were left in the sink from...idk when they were last used.
I have way too much on my plate
school. church. parenting. work. running. Keeping B entertained. cleaning. cooking. driving. sleeping
I lose sleep to catch up then B wakes up early.
I wake up early to catch up on homework, then my computer crashes.
I get caught up on grading at work to try to work on homework during my lunch break, then someone calls out sick and I get forced to pick up their slack plus my own.
My parents force me to sign up B for baseball
Then I look like the worst parent in the world when he throws a tantrum because he doesn't want to play because he doesn't know anyone there
I just feel stuck.
I feel like i can't do anything right
to top it off, there was a major glitch on Periscope, so idk if my broadcast even recorded my scripture since I can only play up to the introduction of my book...
I seriously felt sick to my stomach when B threw a tantrum yesterday in the dugout before we left the team.
He didn't want to play.
I was dragging him kicking and screaming trying to leave him in there and he didn't want to stay because I wasn't going to sit next to him.
When I went to sit on the bleachers, he came to join me.
I told him if he wants to leave, he'd need to go to the dugout and grab his bat, water bottle, mit, and hat.
Simple task, you'd think...
Then he fell off the bleachers and landed on his face.
and cried
screamed
cried
then pooped his pants...in diarrhea.
anyone else feel like such a failure?
I can't ever get a break
I can only strive to wake up earlier and earlier in hopes of getting S O M E T H I N G done
yet something else always stops me
I lose sleep in hopes of gaining more time
but never seem to find any
I feel like the suckiest, meanest, cruelest parent in the world and to add salt to the wound, i'm a single parent.
i'm a single working parent
I get shamed because i can't provide enough
i get shamed because I don't spend enough time with B
I can never seem to win
I can never seem to please anyone
I run as a form of exercise because it's freeing and I can do it just for me
I can listen to the breeze
I can sight-see without spending any money
but even the time for that seems like a chore
like it's robbing me of something I never ever have enough of
T I M E
I wish for once, I could just take a day for myself
is that selfish?
I just want a day where I don't have to manage my son, my students, can catch up on school and not feel so overwhelmed with what needs to get done and just finally breathe without feeling strangled to death
...I think I'm going to call off work on Monday.
I have yet to fold and put laundry away from stuff I washed 2 weeks ago.
I don't remember the last time I vacuumed the carpet.
I washed B's bedding, but it's still in the hamper by his bed rather than on it.
I finally washed dishes that were left in the sink from...idk when they were last used.
I have way too much on my plate
school. church. parenting. work. running. Keeping B entertained. cleaning. cooking. driving. sleeping
I lose sleep to catch up then B wakes up early.
I wake up early to catch up on homework, then my computer crashes.
I get caught up on grading at work to try to work on homework during my lunch break, then someone calls out sick and I get forced to pick up their slack plus my own.
My parents force me to sign up B for baseball
Then I look like the worst parent in the world when he throws a tantrum because he doesn't want to play because he doesn't know anyone there
I just feel stuck.
I feel like i can't do anything right
to top it off, there was a major glitch on Periscope, so idk if my broadcast even recorded my scripture since I can only play up to the introduction of my book...
I seriously felt sick to my stomach when B threw a tantrum yesterday in the dugout before we left the team.
He didn't want to play.
I was dragging him kicking and screaming trying to leave him in there and he didn't want to stay because I wasn't going to sit next to him.
When I went to sit on the bleachers, he came to join me.
I told him if he wants to leave, he'd need to go to the dugout and grab his bat, water bottle, mit, and hat.
Simple task, you'd think...
Then he fell off the bleachers and landed on his face.
and cried
screamed
cried
then pooped his pants...in diarrhea.
anyone else feel like such a failure?
I can't ever get a break
I can only strive to wake up earlier and earlier in hopes of getting S O M E T H I N G done
yet something else always stops me
I lose sleep in hopes of gaining more time
but never seem to find any
I feel like the suckiest, meanest, cruelest parent in the world and to add salt to the wound, i'm a single parent.
i'm a single working parent
I get shamed because i can't provide enough
i get shamed because I don't spend enough time with B
I can never seem to win
I can never seem to please anyone
I run as a form of exercise because it's freeing and I can do it just for me
I can listen to the breeze
I can sight-see without spending any money
but even the time for that seems like a chore
like it's robbing me of something I never ever have enough of
T I M E
I wish for once, I could just take a day for myself
is that selfish?
I just want a day where I don't have to manage my son, my students, can catch up on school and not feel so overwhelmed with what needs to get done and just finally breathe without feeling strangled to death
...I think I'm going to call off work on Monday.
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