Single Moms on Father's Day

There are exactly two views of Father's Day in its recognition of Single Moms.

Either Single Moms are praised for playing both roles:

or...

They're told to stop taking credit for playing the father role:

Of course I'm not a father.

However, if I have to teach my son the basics of being a dude such as:

how to pee standing up

to push his penis down in the morning, so he doesn't spray the walls and back of the toilet

to stop flicking penis because it's hard in the morning

to stop pinching, pulling, and touching his penis, in general

how to wear his briefs with the pocket in the front

How to wipe his butt without getting poop on his testicles

How to pee outside and aim in the bush rather than pee on his toes

how to throw and catch a football or baseball

how to swing a bat and actually make contact with a ball

how to play sports

how to wash his body

how to shave his face

how to carry out the trash

how to offer to help carry something rather than wait to be asked

AND

The fact that I have to play the disciplinarian role in his life on top of being the nurturer and provider,

...I'm taking credit for being the father too.

Do you know how hard it is to discipline my son AND comfort him after doing so?

Or how hard it is to work my butt off to make sure he has a roof over his head, clothes on his back, and food in his stomach

ON TOP OF play with him, do my school work, work out, cook dinner, clean the house, and still have a social life

I'm not sorry for taking credit for playing a father on this day.

Sure, I'm thankful for the male figures in my son's life

Don't get me wrong.

But to shame single moms on Father's Day because they don't have a penis between their legs is rather pathetic

because the last time I checked, it seems more like single moms have bigger balls than absent fathers ever had.

#HappyFathersDay