Father's Day
As a single mother, I want my son to have neutral feelings about the father who abandoned him at 3 months in-vitro.
I don't want to brain wash my son into hating Chris for not wanting to be in his life because he "wasn't ready to be a father."
I don't want my son being bitter because his father chose to ignore the pictures and updates of Bryson I would share with him as each Father's day passed.
What matters is that Chris IS an amazing father now to his two other children.
The only thing my son knows about his father, Chris Doktor, is that Chris was a soldier and a hero.
That's it.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I'm sharing this with you because something so so beautiful happened this week that I so desperately wish Chris could have seen, but never will.
This month at Faith Promise Church here in Knoxville, Tennessee, the children's ministry is learning about Conviction: Doing what's right even when others won't.
They're learning about the REAL superhero: Jesus Christ who lived his entire life doing what's right.
HE loved us so much that he died just so that we would be saved from eternal damnation
In the kid's ministry, children were striking super hero poses every time they heard of someone standing up for what is right.
My son chose SPIDERMAN
He'd crouch down, point his little fist out, and spit invisible spider webs all over the place.
He'd climb the wall in the shower and spit his spider webs.
Well, the other day...
He yelled "I want to be a solder like my dad because he's a hero!"
as he climbed the wall and spit his invisible spider webs (spew spew spew--the sound for making spider webs)
Now, my family, especially my mother, do not agree with how I'm raising my son to respect his father.
But I want the Bryson's opinion of him to be neutral.
What if they meet in the future?
I don't want my son to hate his father based on my personal opinion of him.
I don't want my son to be bitter because his father chose not to be in his life
I want my son to form his opinions of Chris using his own personal experience
There are so many single mothers today who brainwash their children and breathe hate into their little one because they feel scorned, abandoned, and hurt
I just don't see the point of this cycle
What kind of example are you leaving for your children?
If we teach them to love others as we love ourselves, why teach them to hate a guy (in most cases) that they have never even met?
Because behavior is learned, I believe that we should MODEL compassion to our children and anyone we encounter.
Extend grace and compassion to people whether or not we think they deserve it.
Why?
Because God showed compassion and extended grace to us when Jesus died on the cross.
Jesus accepted me for my past, my shame, my sins, and said through the crucifixion "It. is. finished."
Jesus loves me and forgave me without even questioning it
So if we expect God to forgive us and extend compassion towards us despite our imperfections, then we need to do the same for others (including our baby daddies).
I don't want to brain wash my son into hating Chris for not wanting to be in his life because he "wasn't ready to be a father."
I don't want my son being bitter because his father chose to ignore the pictures and updates of Bryson I would share with him as each Father's day passed.
What matters is that Chris IS an amazing father now to his two other children.
The only thing my son knows about his father, Chris Doktor, is that Chris was a soldier and a hero.
That's it.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I'm sharing this with you because something so so beautiful happened this week that I so desperately wish Chris could have seen, but never will.
This month at Faith Promise Church here in Knoxville, Tennessee, the children's ministry is learning about Conviction: Doing what's right even when others won't.
They're learning about the REAL superhero: Jesus Christ who lived his entire life doing what's right.
HE loved us so much that he died just so that we would be saved from eternal damnation
In the kid's ministry, children were striking super hero poses every time they heard of someone standing up for what is right.
My son chose SPIDERMAN
He'd crouch down, point his little fist out, and spit invisible spider webs all over the place.
He'd climb the wall in the shower and spit his spider webs.
Well, the other day...
He yelled "I want to be a solder like my dad because he's a hero!"
as he climbed the wall and spit his invisible spider webs (spew spew spew--the sound for making spider webs)
Now, my family, especially my mother, do not agree with how I'm raising my son to respect his father.
But I want the Bryson's opinion of him to be neutral.
What if they meet in the future?
I don't want my son to hate his father based on my personal opinion of him.
I don't want my son to be bitter because his father chose not to be in his life
I want my son to form his opinions of Chris using his own personal experience
There are so many single mothers today who brainwash their children and breathe hate into their little one because they feel scorned, abandoned, and hurt
I just don't see the point of this cycle
What kind of example are you leaving for your children?
If we teach them to love others as we love ourselves, why teach them to hate a guy (in most cases) that they have never even met?
Because behavior is learned, I believe that we should MODEL compassion to our children and anyone we encounter.
Extend grace and compassion to people whether or not we think they deserve it.
Why?
Because God showed compassion and extended grace to us when Jesus died on the cross.
Jesus accepted me for my past, my shame, my sins, and said through the crucifixion "It. is. finished."
Jesus loves me and forgave me without even questioning it
So if we expect God to forgive us and extend compassion towards us despite our imperfections, then we need to do the same for others (including our baby daddies).
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