The day I almost lost my son
May 23, 2015 started off like any typical Saturday.
My son was at my mother's house, so I could be well rested for my 5k.
I finished my race, went home to shower, and returned to mom's to play with him until family arrived since Saturday is our "family night."
Bryson's been playing in the pool since he was 4 months old; however, he A L W A Y S has a life jacket on.
He knows he's not supposed to get into the pool without a life jacket.
We got our bathing suits on.
Unlocked the gate.
Put our towels and water bottles up on the table.
Slathered our bodies with SPF.
I told him to wait for me, so I could adjust the stereo.
I could feel him at my heels and told him to back up a bit.
I finally got the stereo adjusted after about a minute.
But when I turned around, I couldn't see my son.
My heart sunk.
I yelled for him thinking maybe he had ran out of the pool area and was playing in the yard.
When I walked past the pool steps, I could see a small white ball at the bottom.
IT WAS HIM
He was staring up at me standing at the bottom of the steps, blowing bubbles underneath the water that's 4 feet while he stands just 3.5' tall.
I immediately scooped him up onto my lap and patted his back.
I have no idea if he was under there the entire minute I was fiddling with the radio.
Or if it was just instantaneous.
All I know is that i completely felt invalid.
How could I have been so careless worrying about the stupid radio instead of making sure my son had his life jacket on?
All I could do was hold him on my chest to make sure water had not filled his lungs
All I could do was kiss his entire face and smother him with my arms
He is my miracle baby, my best friend, my little man, my sweet sweet Bryson
And because of my carelessness I almost lost him
It took him a while to get back into the water.
All he kept saying was "Momma there's so much water in there. Too much water."
The rest of the night he wanted only me to hold him.
I had to hold him while he ate, while I ate, and while he pooped.
he wouldn't let anyone else hold him but me.
Sometimes I get so consumed and switch to auto-pilot that I forget to focus my attention back to my son. I assumed he wouldn't sneak to get into the pool.
I figured he KNEW he couldn't swim with out the jacket on
But he didn't because he's just a baby. just a toddler. just my bryson
I'm trying not to let the guilt consume me, but I can't get the picture of his poor little face struggling under the water for air.
Every time I think of it, my heart sinks.
God forgive me for being such an invalid mother.
I know I'm not perfect, but please please please don't take my baby from me.
My son was at my mother's house, so I could be well rested for my 5k.
I finished my race, went home to shower, and returned to mom's to play with him until family arrived since Saturday is our "family night."
Bryson's been playing in the pool since he was 4 months old; however, he A L W A Y S has a life jacket on.
He knows he's not supposed to get into the pool without a life jacket.
We got our bathing suits on.
Unlocked the gate.
Put our towels and water bottles up on the table.
Slathered our bodies with SPF.
I told him to wait for me, so I could adjust the stereo.
I could feel him at my heels and told him to back up a bit.
I finally got the stereo adjusted after about a minute.
But when I turned around, I couldn't see my son.
My heart sunk.
I yelled for him thinking maybe he had ran out of the pool area and was playing in the yard.
When I walked past the pool steps, I could see a small white ball at the bottom.
IT WAS HIM
He was staring up at me standing at the bottom of the steps, blowing bubbles underneath the water that's 4 feet while he stands just 3.5' tall.
I immediately scooped him up onto my lap and patted his back.
I have no idea if he was under there the entire minute I was fiddling with the radio.
Or if it was just instantaneous.
All I know is that i completely felt invalid.
How could I have been so careless worrying about the stupid radio instead of making sure my son had his life jacket on?
All I could do was hold him on my chest to make sure water had not filled his lungs
All I could do was kiss his entire face and smother him with my arms
He is my miracle baby, my best friend, my little man, my sweet sweet Bryson
And because of my carelessness I almost lost him
It took him a while to get back into the water.
All he kept saying was "Momma there's so much water in there. Too much water."
The rest of the night he wanted only me to hold him.
I had to hold him while he ate, while I ate, and while he pooped.
he wouldn't let anyone else hold him but me.
Sometimes I get so consumed and switch to auto-pilot that I forget to focus my attention back to my son. I assumed he wouldn't sneak to get into the pool.
I figured he KNEW he couldn't swim with out the jacket on
But he didn't because he's just a baby. just a toddler. just my bryson
I'm trying not to let the guilt consume me, but I can't get the picture of his poor little face struggling under the water for air.
Every time I think of it, my heart sinks.
God forgive me for being such an invalid mother.
I know I'm not perfect, but please please please don't take my baby from me.
Comments
Post a Comment